Ten Ways You Can Be Happier: Ten Ways You Can Be Happy

FUN COMMANDMENT THREE:

Laugh at Yourself First

This commandment is not about losing self-respect or

demeaning ourselves. Just the opposite — it is an act of loving

kindness. Willingness to laugh at ourselves frees us from the

restrictions of the unrealistic and unrem ittingly harsh expectations

to which we hold ourselves when we are under duress. It gives us

latitude to appreciate the ever-present inconsistencies and

contradictions that are part of our makeup.

Laughing at ourselves helps us recognize the difference

between perfection and perfectionism .

Perfection is what we are, and that includes all the

inconsistencies and shortcom ings. You are not perfect, but you are

perfection because of, not in spite of, your contradictions.

Perfection is healthy. It includes imperfection.

Perfectionism, on the other hand, is what we think we should

be. It is always unhealthy. It is intolerant of imperfection. When we

are caught up in our perfectionism , we are brittle and inflexible.

We can be broken down by change.

So laughing at ourselves is not a form of humiliation. It is a

way of taking ourselves lightly, while still taking our responsibilities

seriously. Once we are able to lighten up, we become more creative

and resourceful. When the going gets tough, the tough lighten up.

If you are having trouble laughing at yourself, this exercise is

recommended:

Exercise #3:

Sit quietly in a comfortable chair.

Take several deep-relaxing breaths. Try to release all of the

tension that will leave you as you let go of each breath. Dismiss all

of the usual thoughts from your mind and set aside, momentarily,

any problems you have been wrestling with.

After approximately a dozen relaxing breaths, let your

attention focus upon a trait or characteristic of yours that you do

not like. It can be physical, mental, or social. It doesn’t matter. Just

make sure it’s something you don’t like about yourself.

While keeping the “unwanted” trait firm ly in mind, try to

think of a way this characteristic could be amusing. Be playful and

gentle. Do not be unkind or m ean spirited. Simply do what you can

to see this trait in a more amusing or ridiculous light.

After a moment, discontinue this thought pattern and simply

take a few more deep relaxing breaths. End the exercise by taking

one final deep breath, slowly exhaling as you open your eyes and

stretch your arms over your head, and then bring them back down.

Ten Ways You Can Be Happier